The Post Wherein I Reveal My Catty Nature

I'll admit that I love blogs with pretty pictures and not a lot of words. You know, the ones where women post images of their favorite clothes, magazine spreads, teacups and couches? Perusing these blogs gives me the same feeling I get when I flip through those thick fashion magazines at Target. It's just eye candy and who doesn't love that?

What I don't love is how often these bloggers post pictures of themselves all glammed up when it is quite obvious they work in fashion or photography or some kind of design field and are married to or are shacking up with someone equally artistic. I mean, I could look hot too if I had a clue about applying makeup or styling hair and if I had access to an expensive camera or a professional photographer. I'd also probably look pretty damn good if I didn't live in a basement apartment and in Seattle where natural light eludes me.

Why do they have to flaunt their good looks and fashion sense? So annoying. Especially when the post consists of their adorable picture followed by one line of text explaining that they are too busy to write. Apparently they aren't busy enough to gussy up for the camera and make me covet their thick, shiny, long brown hair!

To add insult to injury, these same bloggers feel it necessary to post pictures of their boyfriends and pets in in a way that would suggest their life resembles some kind of Wed Anderson movie. Blogger, please.

Another Reason Not to Shop At Ross

While I was in Oregon, I decided to take advantage of no sales tax and went for a brief shopping spree over at Jantzen Beach. First I hit up Target, then Michaels and lastly, Ross Dress for Less.

I usually don't shop at Ross because their stores tend to be understaffed and a total mess, but since I was on vacation and didn't have anywhere to be I took my chances, thinking maybe I'd find something I had to have.

As soon as I walked in the door, I was firmly and loudly greeted by a young woman wearing what appeared to be a cop uniform. On the back of her jacket were big letters that read "LOSS CONTROL." Her greeting was literally shouted out in a less than friendly tone while nodding her head toward a security camera, and although I heard her say, "Hello, welcome to Ross," I did not get the feeling I was truly welcome.

I headed to the back of the store to look at the kitchen section and quickly found an item I'd been meaning to buy, a pastry cutter. I grabbed it and walked in the direction of the Loss Control 'expert' to make my purchase. The two registers near the entrance where I came in were closed. Confused, I looked around for another place to pay and spotted another register in the back of the store. The line was three people deep and their carts were full of crap. Deciding I would find another pastry cutter some other time, I walked back to the kitchen section to replace it. Over the intercom, an announcement was made: "Security scanning all sections. I repeat, security scanning all sections."

I have never felt so annoyed and uncomfortable while shopping. As someone not familiar with that area of Portland, it made me wonder if I was safe since Ross was going to such measures to protect its store. I also didn't appreciate being treated like I was some kind of criminal the minute I walked in the door.

My advice to Ross, since they're asking, is that they should try and create an environment in their stores that makes people enjoy shopping. I know, it's a novel idea, but I think it might work!

Don't Be A Faux Friend

Do you know what a faux friend(FF)is? It's someone who thinks friendship is a one-way street.

FF calls all the shots. FF picks which restaurant or bar to go to. FF picks which nights to hang out and if you aren't available then, tough shit. FF decides which movie to see, what band to listen to. FF has strong opinions and, regardless of the situation, will let everyone know them. FF does not apologize. FF wants to be unconditionally loved. FF does not have time to listen to your problems, but has plenty of time to talk about his.

I could go on. FF is exhausting.

Please, if you find yourself exhibiting any of the behavior above, just stop. Don't be an FF.

A real friend compromises. A real friend will go to your favorite restaurant, even if they don't like it, just to hang out with you. A real friend says I'm Sorry. A real friend listens and doesn't hog every conversation. A real friend can disagree with you and not think it's the end of the world. A real friend will stop himself from saying hurtful things and not blurt them out unapologetically as if it's his right to express himself 24/7. A real friend understands there is a time and a place.

I shouldn't have to spell this out.

Seasonal Frump Disorder

I love this time of year: the falling leaves, the brisk temperatures, the rapid succession of holidays. But, I notice that when the weather changes like this I get into a slump. I can't figure out what the hell to wear. It's colder than it was last month, but not cold enough to warrant a wool sweater. Light cotton won't do either, so I end up wearing two layers of light cotton and the end result is a bit dowdy. Combine that with the fact that I'm still wearing cotton chinos but have added my winter boots to the mix and my outfit is a freaking disaster.

Now let's talk about my hair. I like it short, about chin length. The problem with that is in the winter my neck gets cold. A scarf fixes that problem, but if i wear a hat, it looks like I'm hiding a bald head. Not a good look.

Also, my hair is unpredictable in the winter. It might behave one day and be totally static-y and gross the next. It's nice to be able to pull it back into a ponytail on days it wakes up and decides to act crazy. My hair is in that stage right now where it's almost long enough to pull back but needs 100 bobbi pins and a headband to keep all the strands off my face. Cutting it short would make it easier to maintain, and I guess I could call in sick to work on bad hair days but then I might get fired for spotty attendance.

Lastly, there's my skin. In a word: itchy. Last year the skin around my nostrils was permanently red and peeling, no matter how much moisturizer I put on it. This year I'm going to try and deal with skin issues with a diet. I have to do more research, but I'm pretty certain that some foods will make your skin less scaly.

I thought about shopping today. I would love to have some more cardigans for work and some nicer layering pieces, but I decided I shouldn't be spending money right now. Even though there is talk the recession is over, I am feeling it more than ever. I need to hang onto my cash as much as I can, even if it means I have to rock the frump fashion.

Unprofitable

I have had one credit card or another for over 10 years and not once have I carried a balance on any of them. One thing my mom taught me that I actually paid attention to at a young age was that debt = not good. So, I have diligently paid off my card every single month for years. I have only assessed one late fee and that was due to plain ol' laziness. It was a whopping $39, and I have never paid late again.

I have had a card with Bank of America since 1999. For every $2500 I spend, it pays me back $25. Not a lot of money, but better than nothing. It's free money, right? Well, I guess they (BoA) are not happy about this sweet thing I've got going with them. I get a line of credit, an occasional $25, and they make no money off me ('cept for that $39 that one time) because I pay my card off in full each month. I am what you call unprofitable.

According to this story in the Seattle Times, I may soon be charged an annual fee ranging from $29 to $99. I guess they figure if they can't make money off me in the form of interest payments, they might as well try and screw me another way.

If I close this credit card, it could hurt my credit score, and if I leave it open I'll be paying BoA for the convenience of credit...something that used to be free.

I work at a financial institution, a credit union. So far, we have no plans to punish our unprofitable members by charging them an annual fee. I hope we continue to be an honorable business, but in this economy you just never know.

Our Amazing Bodies

Remember those films you had to watch in high school about your changing body? Or was it middle school? I vaguely remember a male football coach in charge of answering questions about sexuality from a room full of insecure girls. I also remember there were no questions asked, which is probably why they put him in charge in the first place. Sneaky!

That's not really what I wanted to talk about though.

Every once in a while I have an Amazing Body moment. Usually it's when my body is doing something that disgusts me. Like, when I have a cold and I wonder where all that mucas is coming from and whether my head made up of 90% snot and 10% brains.

Today's moment was brought to me by PMS in the form of two huge zits that appeared out of nowhere. I did not have these puppies on my face this morning. No, they arrived while I was working away at my desk. One is on my jawline, the other on my chin. Two huge red bumps.

Isn't it amazing how quickly these things can appear? Why can't they disappear just as quickly? If you know how to make that happen, let me know in the comments.

I'm Old and Poor

A friend of Big A's just came over. He is 22. He walked in the door with a case of beer. We are going to a party in two hours. The party is at a bar.

First sign I am old. I think, Are they planning on drinking a case of beer before the party?

Kid sits on the couch and requests a TV show that's on cable.

Old person thing to say and second sign: "We don't have cable!"

"Well, we could play W-I-I," the kid says.

Third sign: I think he means, WWF wrestling.

Big A says, "We only have one controller though."

We are poor and can't afford cable or multiple Wii controllers.

It is 6:50 and I have had 2 glasses of wine. The party is in about an hour and half and I am already tired. I could totally go to bed right now.

The kid is using an Ali G avatar to play Wii. Do I get cool points for knowing who Ali G is? Wait, isn't Ali G more from my generation than the kid's? I don't know.

Oh crap, now I'm talking about 'my generation.'

Back to being old and uncool.